Yesterday I participated in an information session for the Parents Association on the topic of “Growing Up Online: Understanding the Greatest Generation Gap Since Rock and Roll.”  Over the course of an hour, we discussed a number of issues related to raising children in the Digital Age, ranging from Internet filters to sexting, but social networking was the cornerstone of our conversation.  Sites like Facebook and MySpace, and their seemingly constant coverage in the media, have parents more concerned (but willing to be educated) than ever.

What is Social Networking?

Adults certainly understanding the concept of professional networking, and easily relate to the idea of being networked in a traditional social sense, but online social networking is largely unfamiliar territory.  Before parents can grasp the nuances of Facebook, they must first have a fundamental knowledge of contemporary social networking.  To help bring our audience up to speed, we used a simple yet effective overview from Common Craft:

YouTube Direkt

A small social network, such as the example in the clip, is quite straightforward, but what about a real social network like Facebook?  The Facebook Friends Wheel, especially when demonstrated using Flash, provides a dynamic view of how people (nodes) are linked on Facebook (the network).  The connections between users are what define the network and make it socially engaging.

What Should Parents Know About Facebook?

From a usability standpoint, Facebook is a relatively simple application.  Learning to create an account, add friends, join groups and networks, and post content is easy; learning to do these tasks responsibly is a different matter.  Here are a few tips/suggestions for parents who want to help their child(ren) use Facebook appropriately:

• Facebook’s Terms of Use state that users must be at least 13 years of age, but there is nothing to stop a younger child from creating an account; a valid e-mail address is all that is required to join Facebook.   Don’t assume that because your child is underage that they aren’t on FaceBook.
• A Facebook profile includes fields for Basic, Contact, Personal, and School/Work information.  Students should not include any information that would compromise their safety and security; leave the Contact information blank.
• It’s easy to find people on Facebook, but to become “friends” both parties must agree; an invitation is sent and then accepted or ignored.  Students need to be reminded that it’s OK not to accept friend requests, and parents should understand that their children will only be exposed to content generated by their friends/groups, so choose wisely.
• Joining a network may change your privacy settings, and anyone can create a Facebook group.  Ask to see which networks/groups your child belongs to and what information they are making available to these large and largely anonymous groups.
• Facebook’s messaging and chat features do not require any installation of software; a lack of “admin rights” will not keep your kids from emailing and chatting.
• With respect to privacy settings, don’t let children share contact information, do make sure they are not part of the public search listing or appear in social ads, and caution them on the use of Facebook applications.
• Becoming “friends” with your child on Facebook is a great first step, but remember that friends can be organized into lists, each with its own privacy settings, and users can block specific friends (i.e. parents) from seeing their content.  Being a “friend” will only let you see what your child wants you to see; being an interested and active parent is the only way to know what is really happening online.
• That said, remind your kids that nothing online is ever truly private; everything you post can/will at some point be seen by someone you don’t know.

Techno-Savvy Parenting: Get Involved!

After providing a quick tour of Facebook and its features, we turned our attention to specific strategies for being a “techno-savvy” parent.  Chrissy Laycob, our Middle School counselor, offered a series of pointers on how to engage and manage our “digital natives”.

As stated in her presentation, it’s vital that parents get involved and take responsibility for monitoring online activities.  Developmentally, students in their early teen years need guidance to make smart choices.  While the decision as to when a child should join Facebook (or some other social network) is ultimately a parental decision, it should be made knowing that it’s a team (i.e. parent-child) endeavor.

Resources for Getting Started

Facebook in 15 Minutes (and social networking in an hour) is merely the beginning.  The adults who participated in our session left informed but wanting to know more.  Among the myriad resources available, these four will help parents and students chart an informed course:

• MacArthur Foundation: Time Spend Online Good for Teen Development
• Common Sense Media: Internet Safety Guide
• AllFacebook: 10 Privacy Settings Every User Should Know
• Facebook for Parents: Tips, Tricks, and Resources

Social networking, like movies, television, and video games, is here to stay.  The generation gap we are experiencing may be the widest we’ve seen since Elvis, but it can be narrowed.  Acceptance, understanding, involvement, and guidance are essential…and well within our collective grasp.

Posted: 02|20|09 at 8:11 am. Filed under: Social Networks.
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