Growing Up Online
On Tuesday, the Frontline documentary “Growing Up Online” explored how the Internet is transforming the experience of childhood. Our students’ digital world, which Frontline described as being “largely hidden from parents and teachers,” is one that we must come to understand. While you can draw your own conclusions from the program, the issues of identity and socialization deeply resonated with me as a parent and educator.
Real or Pretend?
Jessica, of one of the main interview subjects, described how at age 14 she assumed a completely new persona online. Not wanting to be known simply as “Jess”, she transformed herself from a typical-looking adolescent into Autumn Edows, an alter-ego whose appearance and provocative dress belied her age. Her rational for the new identity? She didn’t like who she was and could become another person in cyberspace; mature, popular, and the center of attention.
While Jessica may not have been comfortable with her real life, Sara, a 16 year student-athlete, felt that she could only be herself on the Internet. She characterized her day-to-day, “happy go lucky” disposition as “fake” and only shared her struggles with an eating disorder within the niche she created online. When asked what her parent knew, she replied “Nothing. All they know is that I like to eat healthy and exercise.”
Whether using the Internet to become someone else or to express one’s true self, it seems clear that Erikson’s concept of identity crisis takes on a whole new meaning for digital natives. Do we know who our children/students are and who they want to become? Do we know how to find out?
Always Listening
Humans are, by nature, social beings and socialization is an integral part of adolescence. While adults typically interact through “traditional” methods, teenagers utilize social networks. According to Frontline, there are approximately 160 million FaceBook and MySpace users. Why are these sites so popular? As Parry Aftab of wiredsafety.org suggests in her interview, it’s because “the Internet is always a willing listener.”
Time and space are of no concern in a social network; if you have something to say, it will be heard. This can be difficult to grasp for those who are grounded in the world of synchronous communication. I didn’t fully appreciate the concept myself until I started using Twitter and Ning; I too can reach out to my “friends” and know that someone, at some point, will respond.
If we don’t give our kids reasons and opportunities to talk with us, they can simply take their conversation elsewhere. Do we know who they are talking to? Do we know what they are talking about?
Time Well Spent
If you haven’t done so already, I would encourage you to carve out some time and watch “Growing Up Online.” It won’t make you an expert, but it can help you better understand and appreciate the “hidden world” where our students live. If but one teachable moment comes from the experience, it should be considered time well spent.
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January 24th, 2008 at 8:07 pm
Great thoughts on a tough topic. I blogged about this today myself, but not quite so eloquently
I’m struggling with finding the appropriate middle ground for kids – between becoming completely new people online and not using the internet at all. I’m hoping to figure it out before my kids are old enough to be online themselves.
January 25th, 2008 at 2:16 am
We watched this with my 12 & 15 year old sons and were amazed at how hostile and alienated the kids were toward their parents…you are right “if we don’t give our kids reasons and opportunities to talk with us,…”
There was no question in our family that I would have access to my son’s facebook profile. We are “friends” on-line and have a relationship in real life. Wesley Fryer has some great stuff to say about this on his blog.
January 25th, 2008 at 2:24 am
Patrick a great effort to discuss a difficult piece of viewing. It wasn’t too extreme and did attempt to present some of the positives as well as all the usual stereotypes and hysteria creating statements. At times it certainly had me thinking about myself and my teenagers and I feel that it is an excellent catalyst for conversations both at school and home.I haven’t seen any PBS shows before here in Australia, but I will be keeping an eye on the site. This is really only the start of an older generation realising how the whole world has shifted for these kids and many of us have no idea of their realities.
January 25th, 2008 at 10:52 am
Coming from a teacher perspective, because of the disconnect between these teenager’s online identity and their parents, it looks to me as if just as we have to teach sex-ed and anti-drug information, so too will we need to add, cyber-safety and responsible online behaviors to what we now take on because of a proportion of our parents’ inabilities to connect with their children. That a child could be following an anorexic regimen I can understand because concealment is a major component of what someone like that might do, but to take on a “goth” appearance and for a parent not to immediately inquire or try to see why I don’t understand.
I also thought that there was a subtle communication happening with two of the teachers that were presented. For Steve Maher that was using 21st century tools in the show editing we saw shots of students “zoning out” in front of their monitors with little interaction, no showing of the social/communication tools that they may be using in class. For Rose Porpora who only uses books, pencils, and paper, we saw a class in a circle, together and learning. I think it would have been more valuable to have heard more from the various students in these classes and their perspective on learning in both environments. But we know what they would have said.